We may not always agree with what others do, but we can work toward understanding
As children of God, we have an intrinsic dignity that comes from God, the source of our life. Not only do we have that dignity, but so does every other human person and all of God’s creation. We were created in the image and likeness of God, and all of creation bears His image and is good. Our mission, through our baptism and our belief in Jesus, is to heal the places in the world where the image of God is marred or broken. Only once we have come to understand and appreciate our own inheritance from God can we freely share that gift with others.
In the celebration of the Holy Family, we are given the opportunity to reflect once again upon the family of Jesus. We notice similarities and differences with our own families, recognize the ways in which our families have been broken and work toward healing.
As we walked through Christmas and spent time with various communities, we have likely noticed how tricky family life can be. Just by hearing a voice or seeing a face, we can be moved to deep love or moved to memories of abuse, hatred or misunderstanding. This season of increased darkness and high expectations can trigger those of us who are dealing with anxiety and depression. We might also notice how stingy, greedy or judgmental we are. We might be tempted to give up hope because the same things keep coming up in our families again and again. The preparations for the birth of Jesus and the Christmas season are meant for us to restore the hope that might have dimmed or died.
This is always a great time to take stock of our family lives and do what we can with our own lives to be messengers of hope, peace and healing. We first have to acknowledge that there is only one life that each of us controls — our own. Anyone who is a parent knows that as children grow older, the myth of having control over them goes away little by little. If we have not built relationships of trust and love, both unconditional and unending, there’s little hope for us to have any influence on other people’s lives.
If there is brokenness within our family, what can we do about that? Have we been as generous as we can be in the ways that we spend our time with family? As we grow up, we know that we have to set boundaries within our families. But are we being as generous as we can be in the ways that we allow our family to interact with us and to be loved by us? Are we hanging onto old grudges and unhealed wounds and expecting someone else to guess what we need from them?
Are we showing other people around us what it means to live a holy, happy and joyful life, even in the midst of difficult times? This season can be overly emotional and supercharged with expectations. We cannot control the expectation of others, but we certainly can make sure that our expectations are reasonable. When Jesus was lost from His family, both Mary and Joseph took it personally. It seemed as if Jesus wasn’t being attentive to how His actions would affect them.
Once we have a conversation and begin to understand each other’s motivations, understanding and acceptance begin to grow. We may not always agree or approve of what other people do, but we can work toward understanding and acceptance with every person.
May each holy family, whatever configuration it takes, be blessed as we recognize the presence of God in each other and in ourselves.
Father Donald Wester is retired and serves as lecturer of homiletics at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary.
