Saying ‘I do’ to Jubilant Marriages

Photos by Jacob Wiegand | jacobwiegand@archstl.org Don and Therese Kaag’s prayer time includes check-ins on each other’s days, prayer intentions and reading reflections. They are parishioners at St. Francis of Assisi in Oakville and prayed at their home on Feb. 13.

New archdiocesanwide initiative to offer spiritual, practical support for couples living the vocation of marriage

Jennifer Brinker

Submitted on February 21, 2025

In their 18 years of marriage, Therese and Don Kaag typically greet each other after they wake with a kiss and a “good morning.”

But after attending a Celebrate Catholic Marriage Experience marriage enrichment program earlier this year at their parish, St. Francis of Assisi in Oakville, the couple decided to step it up and include an affirmation of their marriage as a sacrament.

Now, their morning ritual includes a new declaration to one another: “I still do.”

“Starting the day by honoring that covenant is something we haven’t done together,” Therese said. “Before, it might have been a ‘good morning’ and a kiss, but now we’re acknowledging that sacramental covenant.”

“One of the things we learned is the affirmation that our marriage is God, Therese and I,” Don said. “Once you put it in the sacramental realm, how are we honoring God if we’re not talking about Him?”

Daily prayer is another way in which the Kaags are keeping God at the center of their marriage. Couples who attend a Celebrate Catholic Marriage Experience are given a small cross, and both husband and wife are encouraged to hold it while praying together.

Don and Therese Kaag, top right, met with Melissa and Jeremy Loscheider, left, and Sarah Della Croce, bottom right, on Feb. 13 at their home. The group, all parishioners at St. Francis of Assisi in Oakville, meet biweekly for prayer, socializing and a topic for discussion.

“We’re offering marriage to God — our joys and our struggles,” Therese said. “It’s keeping that God-centered focus on our marriage.”

The Celebrate Catholic Marriage Experience, developed by Mater Media, is a new program offered in the Archdiocese of St. Louis and one of numerous marriage enrichment programs promoted through Jubilant Marriages, an initiative recently launched by the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life to share resources to help married couples recognize the gift and sacramental nature of their marriages.

“Couples can have hope for a really vibrant married relationship,” Jubilant Marriages coordinator Cathy Gilmore said. They are a “sacramental sign of God’s presence in the world, and we don’t always treat it like that.”

The archdiocesanwide initiative is a local response to the U.S. bishops’ 2021 document, “Called to the Joy of Love,” a national framework for marriage and family life ministry. The bishops said that while the Church has been successful in developing marriage preparation programs in most dioceses, it needed to do more to nourish married couples after they are married.

Realizing that married couples and families are the heart of parish life and discipleship, the bishops challenged each other to develop ways to assist Catholic couples throughout the various stages of their married and family life.

Jubilant Marriages also includes spiritual and practical resources for singles who are preparing to live the vocation of marriage, as well as resources for priests and parishes to build community in the parish around marriage.

“The overarching goal of all of this is to create a culture of matrimony in which marriage is seen as a daily lived sacrament, not a one-time event,” Gilmore said. “And we’re going to be unpacking that in a thousand different ways.”

“The overarching goal of all of this is to create a culture of matrimony in which marriage is seen as a daily lived sacrament, not a one-time event. And we’re going to be unpacking that in a thousand different ways.”
— Cathy Gilmore, Jubilant Marriages coordinator

Priest perspective

Father Robert “Rosy” Rosebrough has earned a reputation for guiding married couples in living their sacrament. A chaplain with Worldwide Marriage Encounter since 1973, the priest said that marriage is the cell that affects the “whole mission,” including the family and parish community.

Now retired, Father Rosebrough remains involved with the ministry and spearheaded the committee behind the Jubilant Marriages initiative.

Two-and-a-half years ago, the bishops asked themselves, “how do we move matrimony from the back shelf to the front of the stage?” Father Rosebrough said. “We do well preparing for marriage but nothing more.” In talking with priests, the committee gained feedback that marriage is often competing for time with other parish ministries.

“This is a sacrament, not a club,” he said.

In order to create disciples, you have to get to marriage first, Father Rosebrough said. “This couple’s love spills over and is a model for Jesus in the Church. Their love spills over in having children. And if they’re excited about their sacrament, then they’re willing to be disciples.”

Marriage support

Six years ago, the Kaags participated in Alpha, a parish-based evangelization program, at St. Francis of Assisi. An outgrowth of that program was a small group made up of six married couples.

Every other Thursday, the group meets for about an hour and a half. They discuss everything from the sacraments to a book or TV program such as “The Chosen,” socialize and pray together. The meetings have been fruitful, as evidenced through all six couples sticking with the group since its formation.

More recently, the Kaags and others on the discipleship team at St. Francis of Assisi hosted the Celebrate Catholic Marriages Experience in January as part of the ministry’s ongoing efforts to provide opportunities to become closer to God and walk with people in their faith journey.

“We don’t have enough things for couples to enrich and support their marriage journey,” Therese said. “Sometimes we wait until couples are in a disaster.”

The one-day event is followed up with a seven-day program for couples to complete on their own. The parish is now in the process of forming Marriage &More small groups to help couples support one another in their marriages.

The small group experience makes a difference, because “that shapes who you are and what your marriage is,” Therese said. “Getting together with faith-filled people on their journey to heaven has made a difference for us.”

The Kaags also recently became trained as a mentor couple for Side-By-Side, a new program offered in the archdiocese’s southern vicariate to mentor engaged and newlywed couples. The program follows a young couple through their marriage preparation and the first year of marriage, with a goal of encouraging couples to become involved in the parish community.

The Kaags also help as wedding coordinators at St. Francis, helping with all of the background details for the big day. Those moments are an opportunity to encounter young couples and encourage them in their marriage, Don said.

“I take the groom and guys aside to tell them to remember this is the first day, not the last day of your journey,” he said. “Your job is to help lead (your wife) to heaven. This euphoria of today will wane, and that support for one another will keep the marriage alive.”