My whole life I have prayed every day, but for the past few months I have felt very frustrated. I feel very little when I pray and wonder if God is listening. What should I do?
Spiritual dryness is something the saints experienced in their own faith lives, so you are in good company. We’ve all been there, praying the way we always have, yet feeling that something is missing. At those times the sense of closeness to God isn’t there. Why does that happen, and is there something we can do about it?
The starting point is to take stock of what is happening in our lives. When we are tired, or sick, or stressed, or grieving the loss of a loved one, we often cannot pray the way we normally do. God understands. I’ve found that during those times, the best approach is to sit quietly in His presence and be honest about what is happening. We should include Him in the grief, or stress, or fatigue, just as we would a trusted friend. It may not change our feelings, but that act of open sharing reassures us that we are not alone.
Often during those times of spiritual dryness, distractions become a problem. We try to focus on our prayer — be it the Rosary, or Scripture readings, or meditation — but our minds keep going to whatever it is with which we are struggling. We shouldn’t worry about the distractions. I’ll never forget the advice given by a retreat director: “A thousand distractions in prayer become a thousand acts of love if we gently redirect our attention to God when our minds wander from Him.” Again, God understands.
Speaking with a spiritual director or fellow believer can also get us back to where we need to be. Simply describing the dryness to another person can bring great comfort and reassurance that we aren’t losing our faith. They might also give helpful advice based on our own particular situation. Most saints had a spiritual director precisely because they knew they couldn’t rely solely on themselves during times of struggle.
It is also important to remember that our feelings don’t indicate our actual spiritual state. The greatest spiritual writers — Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, and Therese of Lisieux, among others — wrote that when we are faithful to prayer during times of spiritual dryness, it is then that the soul is closest to God, because we are operating by sheer faith rather than because of some kind of emotional or spiritual payoff. Those moments bring us into deeper union with Jesus, who struggled with His own feelings at Gethsemane and from the cross.
Finally, and most important, we must trust that the spiritual dryness will pass and God is sustaining us in the meantime. “I, the Lord your God, carried you all along your journey, as a Father carries his child” (Deuteronomy 1:31). If we trust in God and remain faithful, the spiritual consolations will come in time. Meanwhile, we keep the faith and continue moving forward.
Father Scott Jones is pastor of Sts. Teresa and Bridget Parish in St. Louis.
