DEAR FATHER | Gossiping about the failings of others is too often done without a second thought
Why is sharing gossip that harms another person’s reputation — also known as detraction — a sin?
Gossip that hurts the reputation of another person is known as detraction. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “One is guilty of detraction who, without an objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them” (CCC 2477).
The Catechism explains why this is sinful: “Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor… Everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity” (CCC 2479).
Sadly, detraction is a mortal sin that many Catholics commit without a second thought. In this modern age of transparency, some people feel they have the right to know the sins and failings of others. Social media has exacerbated the problem. Many people of good faith will post or recirculate articles that destroy others’ reputations, and in doing so, they feel they are somehow witnessing to the truth. These people even convince themselves they are performing a service, especially if the individual in question serves in a public role. Several so-called “Catholic” websites specialize in detraction, and they have gained quite a following.
We have no right to know or share the sins and failings of others unless, as the Catechism states, there is an objectively valid reason. Prurient interest isn’t enough. One example of a valid reason would be making known the details of a crime to protect the public. Another would be to privately warn an individual that a person he or she intends to marry has a history of abusive behavior. A third would be making an honest evaluation of a job applicant to a prospective employer. These differ from sharing another person’s failings out of anger, judgment or personal enjoyment (perhaps the most common motive).
That someone’s moral failure is true and known by some doesn’t excuse the sinfulness of passing it on to others. When we damage somebody’s reputation, we commit a mortal sin that spiritually destroys us. What is for us a passing unkind remark may be a lifetime of living down a destroyed reputation for the person in question.
Pope Francis has been very clear on the matter. In a homily from September 2013, he said: “Those who judge or speak ill of others are Christian murderers. It is not me saying this; it is the Lord. And there is no place for nuances. If you speak ill of your brother, you kill your brother. Every time we do this, we are imitating that gesture of Cain, the first murderer in history.”
Granted, it is easy to slip into gossip. So how do we avoid it? A foolproof method has been attributed to Socrates. Before sharing negative information regarding another person, we ask ourselves the following questions: Is it true? Is it necessary? And is it kind? I would add a fourth: Would we say it if the person in question were present? Chances are, by answering these questions, we will know whether or not we should speak or remain silent.
Father Scott Jones is the episcopal vicar for the Northern Vicariate of the Archdiocese of St. Louis.