My husband died recently and I miss him deeply. I read in the New Testament that in heaven, people aren’t married to each other. Does that mean he won’t be my husband in heaven?
The passage in the New Testament regarding marriage in heaven is found in Matthew 22. In it, the Sadducees set up Jesus with a trick question: If a man dies without having children, Mosaic law requires his brother to marry the widow to raise children. If there are seven brothers and the woman marries each in succession, with each man dying without children, then whose wife will she be in heaven? The whole point of the question was to make Jesus look foolish for believing in an afterlife (which the Sadducees rejected).
In response, Jesus stated that in heaven, “they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like the angels” (Matthew 22:30). In saying this, Jesus affirmed that there is life after death and that heaven is real.
So is there marriage in heaven? The short answer is yes. Throughout the New Testament, the Kingdom of God is frequently referred to as a marriage banquet, with Christ as the Bridegroom and the Church (meaning us) as the Bride. In Ephesians 5, St. Paul urges married couples to love and serve each other and states that the man and wife becoming “one flesh” is the closest analogy we have for the eternal relationship between Christ and His Church. So in a very real sense, marriage in heaven is between God and redeemed humanity. There will be a joyful divine intimacy that earthly marriage foreshadows.
When it comes to husbands and wives, of two things we can be certain: They will be reunited in heaven and the fulfillment of their marital vocation will be honored. This is true even for Mary and Joseph: Pope Francis recently added the words “with Joseph, her spouse” to the Eucharistic Prayers following the reference to the Blessed Virgin Mary. (They had already been added to Eucharistic Prayer I decades ago.) It is true that in heaven husbands and wives are no longer in a human marriage that produces offspring because there is no need for it. Instead, all hearts are in union with God and with each other. If widows or widowers remarry after the death of their spouse, in heaven, there will be no jealousy or arguments about spousal rights … only a joyful celebration that their marital vocation accomplished its goal.
It is important to remember that. The goal of marriage — as with any sacrament — is to help us to grow in holiness and become saints. Husbands and wives help each other get to heaven by their selfless procreative love. Once in heaven, that goal has been fulfilled. For that reason, it isn’t advisable to spend time worrying about what your relationship with your deceased husband will look like in heaven. As St. Paul tells us, “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, nor has it so much as dawned on humanity what God has in store for those who love Him” (1 Corinthians 2:9).
It is enough to trust that you will be reunited with your spouse, and together you will celebrate everything God has done for you and through you in the life you shared on earth.
Father Scott Jones is the episcopal vicar for the Northern Vicariate of the Archdiocese of St. Louis.
