BEFORE THE CROSS | We honor marriage, family as foundation for society

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What does it mean to honor someone? Respect is certainly part of honoring someone. Obedience may also be appropriate. Loving care and generous service are also signs of honor -- as when the Lord washed the feet of His disciples.

In response to a question about which commandment is the most important, Jesus said: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:29-31).

The first three commandments of the Decalogue belong to the order of faith (love of God) while the fourth commandment and all those that follow belong to the order of charity (love of neighbor). With this Fourth Commandment, we express our wholehearted love of God through our love for others -- specifically by honoring our parents with respect, obedience and loving care.

Our parents have given us the gift of life and have the responsibility of handing on to us the knowledge of God. Each of us is called to learn from our parents and grow in God's love. At the same time, parents as the first teachers of their children must spend quality time with them developing their life skills and knowledge of the faith.

The Fourth Commandment speaks of children and their parents, but it also includes the extended family. We must show honor, affection and gratitude to the older members of our families and to those who are especially vulnerable. This includes our concern for our parents and grandparents in their later years and the care we take in visiting them and being present to them. It is a tragedy that so many of our elderly are forgotten in nursing homes and assisted-living facilities. The Fourth Commandment reminds us that we have a solemn obligation to honor our parents. To neglect them is a serious sin.

The Fourth Commandment also extends to the obedience and prayer we owe teachers, leaders of government and all those who exercise authority. I am always surprised by our failure to pray for the president of the United States and other elected officials. It is amazing to me that we are so ready to criticize but so slow to pray for our leaders. Do we really deserve good leaders if we never pray for them? Can we really honor our parents or others in authority without prayer?

The Church teaches that a man and woman united in marriage, together with their children, form a family. When a priest talks about his parish, he will often mention the number of families in the parish. When Pope John Paul II wrote about the family, he referred to it as "a domestic Church" with Christ at the center. A family is a community of faith, hope and charity; it assumes singular importance in the Church as is evident in the New Testament (Ephesians 5:21 and 6:4; Colossians 3:18-21; and 1 Peter 3:1-7). That's why we believe it's so important to defend the family against all the negative influences in our culture.

A "family" is not whatever anyone says it is. The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves to one another in love and to be open to the gift of life. Authority, stability and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security and fraternity within society. God chose to raise up marriage as a vocation in the Church. For us, marriage is a sacrament, not simply a social contract; and the family is much more than simply a social arrangement. It is a domestic Church, the most fundamental and important community that human beings belong to.

Let's honor our parents, even if they are deceased, by showing respect for the gift of human life and by taking family life seriously. Let's pray for all those in authority that God will entrust them with wisdom and right judgment in all things. Finally, let's work to keep marriage a sacred vocation and family life a profound expression of the domestic Church with Christ always at the center.