Reproductive morality is joint responsibility

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Q: I have been engaged for over a year to a young Catholic woman who believes that there is nothing wrong with contraception, and she would not use natural family planning. This has caused a problem for me in our relationship and to our engagement, and if we did marry would I be morally justified in having relations with her if she used contraceptives?

When two people intend to marry they ought to be in total agreement about something as essential to the marriage covenant as procreation. It sounds as though you are miles apart on the morality of contraception. You shouldn’t get married until you can both agree to live according to God’s plan because, as husband and wife, you share the responsibility of living according to God’s Word. If one partner is practicing contraception you both would be guilty of cooperating in sinful actions.

It is serious when a couple willfully excludes the possibility of a conception that could result from a sexual act. Many polls have shown that Catholics today are not following the Church’s ban on contraception. Some priests have even told penitents in Confession that contraception is not sinful. All this reflects the attitude that children are more of a burden than a blessing. But this concept is foreign to Scripture.